Attract, Keep And Marry The
Love Of Your Life!

Today I thought it would be fun to share a section from my book, “It’s Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and The Marriage of Your Dreams.” Let it lead you to explore your first interactions with men, there may be a gold mine of information waiting for you to discover! 

My First Kiss

Not all of your behaviors can be traced back to personal experience. You may find that as a child you learned how to interact with men through observation. As children we are very suggestible to the world around us and we pick up things that appeal to us without knowing why.

I uncovered this memory of my first real kiss when I was taking an inventory of my relationship history (discussed more in Chapter Two). I was surprised to see how early I began to sabotage my relationships with men.

My first big crush was on a red headed boy in my fourth grade class. He teased me incessantly and I responded by saying mean things to him, trying not to show him how much I really liked him. It was the first time I was aware that a boy could so strongly affect my behavior. My attention was drawn to him whenever he was around. I had never been kissed, and more than anything, I wanted him to kiss me, just like I had seen in the movies.

One recess he asked me to follow him down to the school basement. It was very exciting to sneak away from everyone to a forbidden area. When we got there, he asked me if he could kiss me. I couldn’t believe he actually asked me first, I could hardly contain myself. Looking back I see he was a gentleman in the making.

I was eager and flustered and managed to nod my head “yes.” I closed my eyes and tilted my head sideways [continue reading…]

And How To Keep Your Sanity When He Won’t!

I hear a lot of complaints from frustrated women asking how to get a man to change. Even when they’re in an established relationship they still want know what they can do to get what they want.

Their complaints are different but they all revolve around men who don’t do what’s asked of them — either because they don’t want to or they can’t.

Here are some common examples:

“Why won’t Rob stop texting and call me more? I’ve told him a hundred times I NEED to hear his voice but he either forgets or just doesn’t do it.”

“How do I get Dan to care about time? It doesn’t matter if it’s a movie, a doctor’s appointment or just lunch, he’s always late. I told him how important being on time is to me. Why won’t he do this one thing?”

“Martin promised to clean up after himself. It lasted a few days. He drops his clothes and towels on the floor and leaves a mess wherever he goes. He doesn’t even see it! I just can’t stand it any more.”

How do these women get a man to change?

All three have the same problem; they keep asking their men for something THEY’RE NOT GOING TO GET!

Why? Because each of these men KNOW what is wanted [continue reading…]

Choosing your life partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. When you chose the man who’ll be beside you every day, it can’t help but directly impact every aspect of your life.

So when I see women looking for love who approach finding their “soulmate” with so little concern about it’s true importance, I feel overwhelming frustration. They meet and date perfectly good men, men who want to be in a committed relationship; but then they treat these men as if they were nothing special, as if there were plenty more where they came from. They make the same mistakes with men over and over again, get the same results, and are in complete denial about their own behavior. This tells me they don’t take themselves or dating seriously enough.

I’ve also seen women transform into adolescent girls when they date; they have no regard to consequences. When they do this they diminish themselves and of course get less than spectacular results with men. How can you stop sabotaging your dates and give looking for love the importance it needs?

Here are the 3 common mistakes you may be making:

1. You break your own rules: How many times have you changed your mind on a date and let yourself be persuaded to break your own rules? The rule I see women break the most often is about when to have sex. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve determined you won’t go to bed with a man until you both agree to be monogamous. You’ve promised yourself not to sleep with a man who is also sleeping with other women. But as soon as you begin to date a man you’re attracted too, you get caught up in the moment and like an impressionable young girl, you give in. You get intimate too soon with a man you could really care about. It changes everything and you’ve hardly gotten to know each other. Breaking this rule rarely works out in the long run. Here are some other rules you might find yourself breaking: you pursue him instead of being patient. You give more attention to him than he’s giving to you. Or you lose yourself and make his needs more important than your own.
2. You don’t fix what’s not working: Human beings tend to like the familiar. We have a comfort zone we find hard to leave unless we’re really pushed. Life-changing experiences like illness or a car accident will propel you to make new and daring choices. But when life is just going along as usual,  you can get lazy and avoid making the changes you need to be more successful with men. One example is the fear of “making waves” in a relationship. Instead of speaking up for yourself, which can be a real challenge, you’ll go with the flow to keep the peace. Or if you’re used to having your guard up around men, you don’t risk being hurt by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. You just stick to being the way you’ve always been because it’s easier than facing the fear of the change you need to make.
3. You haven’t handled your subconscious sabotage: We all have subconscious sabotage; it keeps us eating too much, buying what we don’t need and pushing good men away. Yet it’s something you can change once you become aware of it. The subconscious controls your habitual ways of being in relationships. For example, it will show up as a lack of self-worth or confidence, which makes it hard for you to set boundaries. You have to recognize what the habitual thoughts are that aren’t working for you and change them. When a subconscious belief that is hurting you is made conscious (when you become aware of it) it will get “neutralized” and no longer “run you.” There are many ways to get at your subconscious beliefs, but three excellent ones are hypnotherapy, coaching, and guided imagery

Looking for love is a serious business

If you’re really serious about looking for love ,you have to take the bull by the horns and do these three things. They will require courage. You have to stop breaking your own rules, change the things you do that you know aren’t working, and finally, find out how you’ve been subconsciously sabotaging your relationships.

If you take your search for a good man seriously and do these 3 things — when you find him you’ll know exactly what to do to keep him.