If I’d taken to heart the many relationship books I read and followed their “rules,” I wouldn’t be married today.
I’m sure you’ve read them, too. The books that tell you if he hasn’t proposed by the end of the first year, dump him!
Advice like this is dangerous. It’s a glib pronouncement that ignores the complexity of the different relationships that exist, including yours.
More importantly, it discounts your ability to know what’s right for you.
When it comes to making an important decision, like when you should get a marriage proposal, you have to be able to trust yourself. But trusting yourself can be a challenge if you have a history of making bad choices in love.
Your confidence may suffer and you may doubt your ability to know what’s best for you. You may second-guess yourself and create confusion in your thinking. That’s when you find yourself running to books or to friends to give you the answers you think you need.
It’s only human to make mistakes. No matter how smart we are there’s a learning curve when it comes to relationships. We’ve all made bad choices in love.
The key to knowing what’s best for you and your relationship is to trust yourself and not rely on others for advice. When it comes to the question of whether it’s time for him to propose or not, only you can know. You may think you’re ready for marriage, but it takes two to be ready at the same time.
You can know what’s best even if you’ve been wrong before. If you make the effort to learn from your mistakes, to understand what you were thinking when you made them, you can’t help but do better.
How long should you wait for him to propose?
You’ll intuitively know how long to wait for a marriage proposal. I call this reaching your “single limit.”
My single limit was five years. I could wait that long for him to ask because I had confidence in the man I was with and the love we shared. I believed that even if he didn’t agree yet, I knew we should be married. I didn’t listen to anyone’s opinion, I trusted my knowing.
If I’d cut him out of my life any earlier, before we were ready, I’d have lost out on 15 years of wedded happiness we’ve enjoyed.
So how long should you wait for him to propose? Your single limit may be two years or even ten. It doesn’t matter if it’s right for you. Trust yourself to know what’s best and more importantly what you know about the man you love.