4 Steps To Create Healthy Boundaries When Dating

Healthy boundaries in your relationships don’t just happen, they require discipline and will power. I know this sounds about as appealing as going on a diet, but without healthy boundaries you will end up a victim of a man’s bad behavior.

Why do you need to make the effort to stick to your personal boundaries? They give you self-respect. They’re how you take care of and protect your mind, body and spirit. They give you a say in how you want your relationship to unfold; how much to give of yourself and when.

Setting healthy boundaries is the most important skill you need to have successful relationships. However, for many women, this can be very challenging. If you are someone who finds it hard to say “no,” boundaries will be particularly difficult to stick to.

How To Set Healthy Boundaries When Dating:

1. Look back on your past relationships. Identify the things you know you should have done differently. List the mistakes you made that worked against you. I bet the majority, if not all, involved you letting down your boundaries in some way. Take your time with this process, if you’re thorough you’ll most likely find a pattern of behavior.
2. Create a new healthy boundaries list. Use what you’ve learned from your past mistakes to make the changes you need now. See if there are any new boundaries that you would like to add, including social media and internet dating.
3. Determine to make your well-being a priority.  This may sound selfish or self-centered to you — it is! You can’t rely on anyone making your needs and desires their first priority, that’s your job. In a healthy relationship, each person takes care of their own happiness. When you take care of yourself, those around you tend to do the same.
4. Have open communication about boundaries. You and your man will have your own ideas of what boundaries make you feel safe and respected. When a problem comes up, it’s important you talk about it. Your boundaries are a reflection of your principles and your integrity; talking about personal boundaries is a great way to foster closeness and intimacy in a relationship.

Healthy boundaries make for healthy relationships

Every relationship involves some compromise, but you should never give up what you hold important just to be with someone. When you make maintaining healthy boundaries a priority in your relationships, you’ll find the wrong men will quickly fall away and right ones rise to the occasion.