There’s been a lot said about bullying on the news and I find it so sad. In fact it’s heartbreaking to see so many beautiful young people’s lives made miserable, and some so much so that they’ve been driven to suicide. Bullying is that relentless, causing a child to believe that there is no other way out of the torture they are feeling.
I watched the Dr. Phil Show yesterday on this subject. I felt such empathy for the parents and kids he had on as guests. He was interviewing a 13-year-old girl who had been bullied all her life because she had the habit of walking on her toes. As she was asked to share what the bullies at school were saying to her, the phrases sounded eerily familiar:
You’re so stupid!
You don’t belong here!
You’re fat and ugly!
You have stupid hair!
What ugly clothes!
You smell bad!
I hate you, you’re stupid freak!
Do any of these sound familiar to you? Have you ever called yourself names and put yourself down in your head? Have you ever bullied yourself to the point that you just wanted to give up on yourself?
Just like the cyber bullies and the bullies in the schools, you’re actually hurting yourself over things that aren’t true or that you have no control over. There’s nothing more useless and painful you could be doing to yourself.
You may be a relentless bully or just an occasional one, but it’s cruel and unnecessary punishment that you are allowing to chip away at your self-esteem and destroy your enjoyment of life.
The Dr. Phil Show made me wonder: just how do you deal with your inner bully?
Well leave it to The Dr. Phil Show to have a top expert in the field present. She stood up in the audience and started teaching that young girl how to fight back. She told her that she can’t just walk away, that’s showing you’re weak and a bully will just follow you.
The only way to stop the bullying was for her to stand up to them and “get their face.” She told her move her body forward towards them while wave her arms around taking back her space. Then she had to shout at them in a voice full of passion things like “Leave me alone!” “Stay away from me!” “I don’t care what you think!”
It took her about 3 tries before she found her voice, but once she did she couldn’t stop the big smile that crept across her face. She finally felt her power and was no longer feeling like a victim. After a lifetime of suffering, The Dr. Phil Show created a change in this young girl she had never dreamed could be possible.
This is what you have to do to the bully in your mind. When she starts to taunt you and call you names, stand up to her and fight back. Tell her to shut up, you don’t care what she thinks!
Bully the hell out of her and give her a taste of her own medicine.