Let’s face it, we all have habits we know we should to change, whether watching too much TV, shopping for what we don’t need or eating too much. We have things we do that we wish we didn’t or things we don’t do that we wish we did. All these distract you from taking the steps you need to change your stagnant love life.
Your habitual behaviors chip away at your self-esteem and can feel like a weight you carry through life. They can be particularly detrimental to your love life. Sometimes these habits can grow into addictions that need professional intervention, but mostly, you’ve just let yourself get comfortable being a certain way and you feel a lack of motivation to change.
What makes these habits hang on so tenaciously?
They act as distractions, helping you keep to the status quo in your love life by holding you in your comfort zone. They help you suppress and avoid your unpleasant emotions, and they become a substitute for comfort and gratification.
You can tell yourself you want to find the right man or improve the relationship you’re in but your habits keep you from making changes necessary. Your habitual behaviors keep you stuck in a routine and subconsciously trick you into feeling satisfied so you don’t move forward.
Here are 6 ways to shake up those old habits and jumpstart your love life:
You’ll find that they will feel natural to you and ultimately much more satisfying!
- Start by breathing deeply: open your windows, go outside, take a walk through the neighborhood. Smell the springtime flowers.
- Clean out the old: clothes, makeup, electronics, paperwork.
- Shop at your farmer’s market: meet the people who grow your food and enjoy the seasonal, local produce.
- Take a drive: explore an area you’ve never been. A change of scenery will open your eyes to greater possibilities.
- Make something: a loaf of bread, a necklace, a painting, a scarf.
- Daydream: listen to music, sit in a park, meditate.
If you find that you just can’t stop your unwanted behavior, ask for help. If you need support, ask God, a friend or get a coach. Don’t be afraid of looking weak or needy; we all need someone or something to lean on in times of trouble.
As you begin to take better care of yourself emotionally, you’ll have the time and energy to make the changes to your love life that you’ve avoided.