No matter how many times you tell yourself consciously you want to marry, there is most likely a part of your mind that is afraid and wants just the opposite. You can literally be at cross-purposes with yourself. It’s the battle between what your conscious mind thinks it wants and how your subconscious mind feels about it. This conflict will create a real psychological tug-of-war that needs to be resolved.
The power of your subconscious mind is huge. It never rests – it has controlled all the functions of your body from the moment you took your first breath. Through processes that even scientists can’t explain, it creates bone and tissue from the food you eat and the miracle of new life in a woman’s womb.
It’s the storehouse of all your memories – even the forgotten ones; a repository of every experience you’ve ever had. It’s referred to as the subconscious because you are not actively aware of its effect on you, and yet all your choices and decisions are influenced by it.
If you find yourself challenged around relationships, it is important for you to dig below the surface and make those subconscious beliefs known to your conscious mind. The subconscious does what it thinks is in your best interest; it protects you as if your very survival depended on it. If it has accepted the belief from early childhood that you are not worthy of being loved, it will do everything it can to sabotage any new love interest that comes your way.
The adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me” isn’t true when you’re a child. For example: You may be unaware how a phrase you heard when you were 5 years old, such as “She’s a ’Plain Jane’” has contributed to your inability to feel confidence as a woman – even decades later.
One of my clients was shocked to find out that when she just a baby, she had absorbed the message that she “should have been a boy.” This revelation allowed her the liberating experience of finally being able to own her femininity and relish in her womanly attributes.
You will need to do some serious introspection and find the ideas and associations the subconscious mind has absorbed that have kept you single.
There are many ways to get in touch with your subconscious thoughts. The most commonly known methods are through journaling, meditation or hypnosis.
What is true is that when you allow a subconscious thought to become conscious – when you remember it or recognize it – it no longer has power over you and no longer runs your life.
So once you know what has contributed to keeping you single, you can then enjoy both your minds working together to create the marriage you seek.