One of the biggest obstacles to love I encountered when I was single was of my own making. It was my unwillingness to change. The truth is, I desperately wanted my life to be different but I didn’t want to change myself to make that happen. I was kind of hoping it would change without me having to do anything.
I was no different than many of the women I talk to in my coaching practice. I studied volumes of information on relationships and yet nothing changed, I still found myself alone. The trap was that even though I wanted things to be different I didn’t want to do things differently.
This is what we have to grapple with as human beings. Our obstacles to love are in our subconscious mind. It likes the familiar, and it’s designed to keep us surviving but not thriving. You know this is true when you look around and see so many people battling addictions, loneliness, or trying to cope in painful relationships.
If you’ve struggled with being single for a long time and believe you’ve tried everything, believe me, there’s an answer. But the answer is where you can’t see it; in your subconscious mind. You have an intuitive sense of what’s true and — when you trust it — you will be right.
It takes a good deal of effort to face your subconscious programming and change it. I finally woke up to what I was doing to myself and how I had to change more than my behavior — I had to dig deep and find my “womanly courage.”
Why do I call it that? Because womanly courage is a different energy than what we usually think of as courage. It’s not the courage it takes to jump out of an airplane with a parachute or to speak in front of a room full of people. Womanly courage comes from deep within; it’s courage that’s not based on daring, it’s rooted in authenticity.
If you think you’re a victim of self-sabotage and that no matter what you try you can’t find or maintain a loving relationship, it’s time to address your subconscious thoughts.
Uncovering your hidden obstacles to love
It will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. If it were easy we’d all be walking around with everything we want in life.
It will take all your will to change your thoughts; you can’t be lazy. You can’t wish, like I did, that things would just change on their own.
It will take all your womanly courage, but the results will be everything you want. You will finally be able to thrive in love and you will find you can move through life with confidence, grace and ease.