Don’t be so hard on yourself if you find that you’ve “fallen in love” with the wrong man again.
Dating is when you discover what it is you want and don’t want in a man. As a woman it’s easy to lose your objectivity and bond too quickly with a man after only a short time –especially if you get intimate early on.
But dating is designed for you to learn more about a man, to get to know him in different circumstances, to discover who he is and to see if over time he’ll turn out to the kind of man who is the right match for you.
It’s natural to date men to whom you are sexually attracted. You’ll also date men who are charming and fun to be with. You’ll date men who have your same interests and enjoy sharing and talking with them about what is important to you.
But soon, to your dismay, some of the magic you felt may begin to wear off, as you begin to realize that you are not such a good match after all. Just because a man fits into one part of your life, or you have good sexual chemistry with him, it doesn’t mean he is “the one.”
You may be tempted to settle for a “partially right man” because:
- You are afraid this is as good a man as you’re going get.
- You are tired of dating and putting yourself out socially.
- You feel that he loves you and that’s enough.
- You feel exhausted and discouraged waiting for someone special.
A “partially right man” is not someone to build your future on!
I know it’s disheartening to get involved with a man and in a few months be disappointed that he is not the great man you thought he was. I know it’s hard to let go of someone who really likes you and to have the courage to start back at what feels like square one.
But, if you settle, if you end up marrying a man who is only partially right for you, it will come back to haunt you. It may not seem so bad now, you may get along with him and enjoy his company, but over time things will change.
What you are missing from the relationship will grow bigger as the newness of the relationship wears off. You will feel disappointed in yourself for compromising on such an important decision: the man you’ve chosen to spend your life with!
I’ve heard over and over from unhappily married or divorced women: “As I walked down the aisle I knew I didn’t really love him.”
Don’t let this be you.
It’s OK to admit that you’re dating the wrong guy. It’s OK to feel bad about starting over again. But it is not OK to settle for a man who you know is not right out of fear, laziness or desperation.
It is not fair to him, and you will later regret that you didn’t wait for your true partner.