It’s not unusual to have negative thoughts about men, many women do. It’s one of the most prevalent ways to sabotage your relationships.
If you’ve been through a bad break-up, had a man cheat on you or lie about himself, you may have built up resentments about men that you’re not even be aware of. You may have absorbed judgments about men in your childhood as you listened to women around you complain about them, or you may have picked up reasons to bash men by watching TV and films.
Your thoughts about men will influence your relationships. If you harbor negative ones they will hurt your ability to build a close and intimate bond.
Do any of these “feel” familiar?
1. Men always leave.
2. Men can’t be faithful.
3. Men always lie.
4. Men just want sex.
The negative thoughts you tell yourself are destructive and they will create a barrier to love. You will find they get triggered when you hit a rough spot in your relationship or when a man disappoints you — like not calling when he says he will. Your negative thoughts will add to your upset and fuel the fire of your anger. You will push him away as you react with more drama than the situation calls for.
When you think these thoughts they become your beliefs, and beliefs are not facts. Your beliefs are based on your past experience and what you’ve been taught. They have nothing to do with your present situation. It’s one of the surest ways you can sabotage a good relationship before it even gets off the ground.
The best way not to sabotage your relationships?
Take time to explore you inner beliefs about men. Do this by being aware of what thoughts you tell yourself about how men think or behave. When you find a negative thought coming up, counter it with the opposite idea. Bring yourself back to reality by acknowledging the simple truth that it doesn’t make sense to paint all men with one brush — just as it doesn’t make sense to give all women the same character traits!
Look around for the good men you know, perhaps your brother, the husband of a friend, or a co-worker. As you begin to make the effort of thinking more positively, you inner talk will change and so will your relationships with men.