Why is it so hard to get him to commit to you and the relationship? After all you may have been dating for months or even years, but at some point you come up against a wall of resistance from him. You want more but he doesn’t seem to notice. But the truth is he does notice, but if you haven’t motivated him to do anything about it, he probably won’t.
So what exactly might be holding him back from moving forward toward a real commitment? Well, I’d like you to ask yourself if you are the same woman now as you were when you first started dating. Are you still enjoying the time you spend with him or is there an underlying desperation he can feel from you — that you’re not satisfied and you want more.
Are you too afraid to ask him to commit to you; afraid to say what you really want? There’s a time in every relationship when it needs to move to the next level. Where you both experience a greater sense of vulnerability that creates a true love connection.
But if this doesn’t happened you’ll reach a plateau and the relationship will just coast. That’s when your silence will start to work against you.
To get him to commit to you — tell him the truth!
Your resentment will build up inside like a pressure cooker and he will begin to feel it. Your unspoken need to deepen the relationship will begin to change the way you behave.
Like trying to keep a secret; it takes all your control not to let it out. I give a great example of this in my book; how one day I blurted out a question I had been afraid to ask my boyfriend. Without thinking, my subconscious just took over and it was out of my mouth before I could stop it at the absolute worst time and place. Needless to say it didn’t give me the result I hoping for, infact we brokeup!
You don’t want this to happen to you. He may not really know what’s going on with you, but he will sense your displeasure. When a man feels you’re not happy, it makes him feel bad, it makes him feel wrong.
If you keep putting this kind of unspoken pressure on him he’ll think you’re trying to manipulate him — and that kind of pressure will cool his feelings for you.
If you are feeling dissatisfied with the state of your relationship and your desire is to get him to commit to you, let him know. Don’t let it fester in your mind and begin to affect you in negative ways. By being honest, the pressure he’s been feeling from you will dissipate because it’s now out in the open. If there’s a real relationship there, it will bring you both closer.