I consider myself lucky; I met my husband through a matchmaking service just before internet dating came on the scene. At the time, that was the only alternative to finding a man to date the old fashioned way.
I had to write a personal profile much like today and then a third party, the matchmaker, would pair me with a man they thought would be suitable. This made things a lot less complicated because I was being paired with men who were genuinely looking for a serious relationship.
But even in that seemingly safe situation, I had some strange experiences and not one of my first 6 matches led to a second date. Let me be honest, I have not done internet dating myself; but I have walked through the process with many of my clients and I’ve learned plenty.
What I know for sure is that things haven’t changed that much. What I needed then is the same thing you need now with internet dating— a sense of humor.
If you don’t think you have one or you’ve lost yours along the way, you need to cultivate one, and there’s no better place to do so than the world of internet dating.
You just can’t take it all too seriously. I suggest you to apply the same attitude to dating that you’d use going to a cocktail party full of strangers. You have to look forward to seeing who might be there and hope you might meet someone who’ll catch your eye. If you meet a man who is rude, a pest or just not for you, “move away” but don’t leave the party!
I know some of you are just a little too sensitive. Just the hint of rejection from someone you never met can send you spiraling into self-doubt and disappointment. Don’t fall into the trap of taking what a man you’ve never met does or says to you as a reflection of your worth.
One of my clients, after declining to meet a man, received a lengthy email accusing her of being dishonest in her profile and threatened to report her if she didn’t take it down. Another had her internet dating profile sent back to her completely re-written, complete with grammatical corrections. Seriously, these are examples of internet dating “gone wild” and the best antidote is to tell them as jokes to your friends.
Internet dating isn’t brain surgery!
You’re not going to die from online dating. Remember that phrase every time you get too wrapped up in what’s happening on line. It’s not a life-or-death situation; you won’t disappear if a man doesn’t respond favorably to you.
Having a sense of humor will keep your expectations in check and help you stay in the game. You never know, the next contact may be “the one.”