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Lonely Isn’t A Four Letter Word

lonely isn't a four letter wordFinding true love is a sacred journey; it’s a path we’ve been “given” to navigate this lifetime. It took me years to stop being at war with my desire for partnership and embrace the call for love within me. And if it wasn’t your journey as well you probably wouldn’t be reading this.

One of the greatest obstacles we must overcome on this path is our sense of separation; our feeling that we are alone. When we have a deep call to love within us life can seem empty, as though we don’t belong. We feel lonely, like we’ll only find peace when we meet our soulmate.

It’s not popular to admit this; we want to give the impression that we are just fine without love. We’ll convince ourselves that self-love is enough. We say that finding true love would be a bonus in an otherwise full life. And this can be true, but not all the time. Just under the surface can lurk a sense of longing, a need for someone we haven’t yet met.

One of the biggest challenges of this love journey is coming to terms with the knowledge that we are indeed lonely.

But lonely is like a four letter word that we dare not utter. We tend to push that feeling down full of shame and guilt. We won’t admit it to friends or family for fear of being judged as weak. We’ve learned that we should be fulfilled just as we are; that we shouldn’t feel as though a man will complete us.

But if your sacred life path is love, it’s impossible not have a sense of longing for a soulmate who has not yet shown up for you.

It’s like an artist who sees a painting in her imagination and needs to manifest in the world. She won’t rest or feel the connection to her purpose until she paints that work of art. A true lover cannot rest until they find the object of that love.

What causes so much pain is that we equate being lonely with being needy or desperate; they are not the same. Loneliness is part of everyone’s life; even married people have moments of intense loneliness.

The key to the lover’s path is to keep loneliness in balance with our other emotions. If we let loneliness run the show it will fan the flames of our fear. It will encourage negative beliefs that it’s never going to happen or that we’ll always be alone. It will also cause us to doubt our worthiness of having a great love.

Being single makes us more vulnerable to loneliness, but rather than pushing it down because we’re not suppose to feel that way, it’s time to let it out of the closest. By embracing our loneliness we make it our friend. It becomes a positive reminder that we are on our sacred path. Like the painter, our loneliness is a call to find love, an inner knowing that there is someone out there who is as lonely for us at this moment as we are for them.

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