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Intimacy Issues: What Makes a Relationship Truly a Love Affair

couple in bed, intimacy issuesWhat does the idea of intimacy mean to you? When you think of the word does it make you feel uncomfortable or anxious? Is there a little voice in your head that says maybe you don’t know what true intimacy is? Maybe you’re afraid to even think about it because the idea of being that close to someone, especially a man is a little scary.

You may be more familiar and more comfortable with physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy may have alluded you. But intimacy issues will eventually have to be dealt with for a reltionship to progress and grow.

Here are words that equate with intimacy, from the British Thesaurus:

closeness, togetherness, affinity, rapport, attachment, familiarity, confidentiality, close association, close relationship, close attachment, close friendship, friendliness, comradeship, companionship, amity, affection, mutual affection, warmth, warm feelings, understanding, fellow feeling; informal chumminess

How do these words make you feel? I love the feelings I get in my body reading these words — feelings of deep relaxation and peace. Don’t we all long to share these qualities with another person, and in your heart of hearts wouldn’t you like to have this with a man in your life?

It’s natural to long for the feeling of real connection with a man.  If a relationship is to be special, it must have a bond that goes beyond the everyday; you want to share a connection that feels unique, even transcendent.

But this is not always easy to create…and you may find the whole idea a little frightening. If you think you may have intimacy issues that are getting in your way, you have to admit it and seek a solutions.

What this kind of intimacy requires is that you be willing to give up a secret part of yourself that you have always held back. You have to risk being exposed to a man and give him a window into your being that no one else can go through.

If you are in a serious relationship and you feel this is lacking, you have to decide to try to bring it in, or be content to live without it. But know that relationships that are built on deep emotional intimacy will stand the test of time and only get better with age.

It is this kind of relationship that will be able to weather the trials and problems that inevitably come up in life. If you don’t share a special degree of closeness and connection in your relationship, you will be missing the real glue that holds two people together through bad times.

Intimacy Issues can cause as much discord as money issues — you both have to want it badly enough to “get naked” with each other

True intimacy is what will take your relationship out of the ordinary and place it in the extraordinary. When you commit to it fully, whether married or not, you will feel the difference it makes.  Your relationship will feel like a gift for which you are eternally grateful.

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • Darlene Lancer February 3, 2012, 5:03 pm

    There’s a lot of confusion about intimacy, what it really is, and how to make it happen. There’re couples married decades who can be physically close, but don’t know how to be emotionally intimate. The word intimate refers to your private and essential being. Usually people think it means sharing personal information or having sex. Real intimacy is far more. It makes you feel content, empowered, whole, peaceful, alive, and happy. It transforms and nurtures you. Physical closeness, sex, and romance are important to a relationship, but emotional intimacy revitalizes and enlivens it.

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