Do you find it hard to say “no” to a man? If you do then you are a “yes woman.” You may not realize that you are because it can really sneak up on you. One little falsehood can lead to the next and before you know it telling half-truths becomes an unconscious habit.
If you don’t know whether you’re a “yes woman” ask yourself:
- Do you hide what’s bothering you because you’re afraid to upset him?
- Do you hope he will know what you’re thinking so you don’t have to tell him?
- Do you have opinions that you are afraid to express because he might not share them?
If you answered yes to any of these you have a problem you may not have considered. You are getting by with a lie of omission.
By not speaking up you’re actually lying to a man and giving him the wrong impression of who you are.
You may not think it’s lying to be withholding information about yourself, but it is. It’s a way you’re leading him on — wanting to please him and to not rock the boat.
For example, you may have let him think he’s with a woman who loves spending Saturday afternoon watching sports when you actually find sports boring or a waste of time. Never the less you sit there, feigning interest, because at least you are spending time with him.
Or maybe you lead him on to believe you share his politics or his spiritual beliefs. These are extremely touchy subjects and to reveal how you see things may mean he may judge you as wrong or not respect you.
There is only so long you can keep up this “yes woman” behavior. If you’re authentic, you don’t have to stress, but if you have to keep up a lie, it takes energy and focus. It won’t be long before you begin to resent him and yourself for the time you’ve wasted not honoring what you want and what you need.
The biggest problem with being a “yes woman” is that because you’ve lied by omission to him about your true feelings, you end up lying to yourself as well. You’ll feel irritated and upset with yourself and not exactly know why.
As a “yes woman” you are telling yourself that you don’t count, that a man’s interests and opinions are more important than your own.
The outcome is that you chip away at your self-esteem and that just leads to more “yes woman” behavior.
That’s not what you want for yourself and it’s not what a man wants from you!
No man wants to be with a “yes woman,” it’s not sexy, there’s no challenge — no growth.
When you take a stand for yourself that challenges a man it creates that spark of attraction that can grow into a bonfire of love.
If who you are and what you believe make him turn away from you then you have your answer: you’re not a match.