It is said that what’s important happens in the silence but as a woman you may find it hard to be comfortable with silence, especially on a date. But it’s not your fault, it’s actually biological!
In the book “The Female Mind,” Dr Luan Brizendine says that women devote more brain cells to talking than men, they devote more brainpower to small talk – and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices! And, if that wasn’t enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.
So yes, it’s partly your biology that keeps you talking when it would be better to do more listening. But there may be other reasons why you are uncomfortable with silence on a date.Here are some reasons why:
* You may be afraid that if you don’t talk he’ll get bored and think you are an uninteresting person.
* You may be trying to impress him by saying too much about yourself or how much you know.
* You may be feeling nervous or self-conscious.
* You may be afraid to be open and vulnerable and not realize that you are using conversation as a wall to keep him out.
But whether it’s your biology or your insecurity, if you talk too much you will miss the magic that can happen between you.
So try to pay attention to how much you are filling in the spaces by talking. See if you can relax enough to be ok with some silent moments.
It is only in the silence that you can tune into yourself and know how you really feel.
It is in the spaces that you can learn to know yourself and another person.