It can be tempting when you’re just getting to know a man to either stretch the truth or lie by omission to make yourself look good. You tell little white lies that you think will protect you from being judged.
I had a client who was dating a man for 3 months. They really fell for each other and things had gotten serious. They decided they could see the potential of a future together and decided to be exclusive. Suddenly, out of the blue my client was fired from her job and was extremely embarrassed. She had been late too often and the company had finally had enough.
Three weeks after being fired she told me that she was waiting to tell her boyfriend what happened until she got another job. But she asked me should I tell him the truth?
I asked her how it felt to keep this secret from him for so many weeks. She said she didn’t like it but at least he didn’t know her “shameful truth.”
My advice to her was to tell him as soon as possible. If you’re in a serious relationship you’ll have to deal with serious issues when they come up. That’s what the word serious implies. That’s how you learn about eachother and see how you each react under stress.
Should I tell him the truth? If you want to know you are loved for who you are, the answer is almost always “yes”
It’s all fine and good to feel great about your partner when things are good, but when you’re challenged, that’s when it’s important to see if you will be supported.
Over time little white lies grow like weeds and to run over the garden of your relationship. They multiply and start to strangle your peace of mind.
So when you ask yourself should I tell him the truth, know that your answer will make all the difference in the quality of your relationship and your personal sense of integrity.
A relationship needs trust to be healthy, so give him a chance to see the real you so you can feel truly loved.