I don’t want you to feel like a crazy person but have you noticed how you’re always talking to yourself? Even now, while you read these words your mind is chatting to you as you read. If you’re thinking of yourself listening to yourself, it can be a little crazy making. Our self-talk is active every waking moment.
Much of what we say to ourselves is made up of repetitive ideas that we’re not even aware we’re thinking. If a lot of it is negative, our thoughts will influence what we experience and give us the very opposite of what we desire.
If we don’t get wise to self-talk going on in the privacy of our minds, we’ll end up sabotaging our relationships, creating a lot of pain and misery. We can actually be telling our friends and family one thing but secretly in our mind be thinking the opposite.
There seems to be a “collective unconscious” of single women’s thoughts. Here are the 3 things I hear women telling themselves most often:
- I will never find a man who’ll love me.
- I’m not worthy of a great love.
- I will die alone.
If these thoughts are all too familiar there’s a remedy. We have to recognize that these beliefs are a product of our fear — they have to put be to rest by acknowledging the truth.
Instead tell yourself:
- There is someone out there for everyone. I see proof of this as I look at the many different kinds of couples all around me. I choose to believe that if I exist, so does he. If I am longing to find my partner he must be longing to find me right now as well.
- No one is perfect and that includes me and the man who’ll love me. They’re many imperfect people in wonderful relationships and I’m no different. I know I’m worthy of a great love because if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have the strong desire to be in one.
- This is my fear talking and has nothing to do with my life now. I’m just being overly dramatic and scaring myself. No one knows the future or how their life will end. I refuse to hurt myself with this hurtful thought any longer. I choose to live in the present and enjoy my life.
We will always have negative self-talk, it’s a part of our makeup and it’s not going away. But we have the ability to choose to think differently, to catch these thoughts that want to hold us back and to choose a better thought.