Many of us have experienced the heartbreak of falling in love with a bad boy, a narcissist or a guy who’s simply, “a player.” We can talk for hours about what’s wrong with men and how badly we’ve been treated.
Even if we’re with a good guy, and he breaks up with us, we’ll tend to find a way to blame him for breaking our heart. We focus on what’s wrong with men, because it’s easier to blame someone else for our pain.
It’s hard for us to take responsibility and admit that we’re 50% the problem, that we just didn’t know how to be a good girlfriend. Most of us have a blind spot about our own behavior in relationships. We become much too focused on how we’re being treated badly rather than how we’re treating our men.
It’s not all our fault. We should be taught how to be a good girlfriend when we’re young, before we’re even get interested in boys. We all know that once ourhormones kick in during puberty, we start being driven by our emotions in love and all bets are off.
Today we have an abundance of relationship advice to sift through. Explicit information is everywhere teaching us about sex, men and dating. We’re lured by headlines that promise to tell us “How to Get a Man and Keep Him” or “How to Know He Loves You.” They’re far fewer articles that focus on the part we play in relationships and or that teach us how to be a good girlfriend.
So what’s the most important thing we need to know about how to be a good girlfriend?
It’s taking care of ourselves first. That doesn’t mean being selfish or self-centered. It means avoiding the pitfall many of us have of over-giving, over-delivering and over-compensating to get a man to love us.
As they say, “It takes two to Tango.” When we’re willing to take complete responsibility for our part in a relationship and acknowledge that no matter how wrong we think our man is, we chose him, it will change everything.
We’ll finally know how to be a good girlfriend and increase the chances for that good boyfriend to be just around the corner.