If you’re getting more confused about the status of your love life as time passes, it’s a big red flag. But it’s not about him, it’s about YOU.
You’re probably asking yourself, “Have his feelings changed? Why is he doing that? What is he thinking? Does he still love me?”
All this thinking is so just so confusing right? You just can’t figure him out.
Well I have to tell you, and remind myself as well, confusion is a passive state of being; it’s a cop-out. Confusion is a big waste of time!
Why do we go there so easily? What keeps us confused when all we want is to be clear?
Well, let’s be truthful. It feels more comfortable to get advice from professionals and friends than to just ask him what’s going on. The idea of demanding an answer from a man is just too scary, especially if you have the intuition that you’re going not going to like what you hear.
Confusion is a way we give ourselves a pass at being decisive. We feel safer in a state of “not knowing.” We analyze a man’s behavior to avoid feeling powerless, but it does just the opposite. We create scenarios for his motives and distract ourselves from the truth.
No one likes confrontation and most of us believe asking a man anything that feels uncomfortable is a confrontation.
But it’s not. Asking questions is a healthy response when you don’t know what’s going on. Believe me, you can handle the truth better than the craziness of bouncing around in a confused state.
Now of course there are times when confusion is an appropriate response to a situation. It can serve the purpose of giving us time to reflect. It can prevent us from having a knee jerk reaction in a situation that we’ll be sorry for later.
You can spend months in a relationship letting things go and staying in a state of confusion, and most likely that’s too long. You have to take care of yourself and address your confusion in a reasonable amount of time. Only you know what that is.
The only decision you have to make at this time is to TALK to him. Be good to yourself and stop procrastinating.
Ask him why he’s doing what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, or if he still cares for you as much as he did.
His answers may hurt but they won’t kill you.
Or you might actually like what you hear. Your questions might give him the opportunity to finally come clean and unload a burden he’s been carrying. Your talk will make your relationship deeper and more intimate. You’ll feel good about yourself for having had the courage to speak up.
But if the news is not what you wanted, it’s going to be OK.
“Know the truth and it will set you free.” Not only in your mind, but it will set you free to meet a man who truly loves you.